A Day with Taka
by phoenixyfriend
Summary: In which Karin is a sociopath, Sasuke is afraid of his crotch, Suigetsu is a pervert, and Juugo just wishes they'd all grow up a bit.


Suigetsu looked down at the trussed up captive they'd taken after a botched fight, and then glanced at the currently sleeping Sasuke. Sasuke was on a futon, and had his back turned to the rest of them.

"So… Sasuke doesn't want to use Genjutsu on the guy, and we need info." He hefted Kubikiri Hochou a little. "Who's going to do the interrogation, then?"

He and Karin stared at each other for a few seconds, because even though Suigetsu was less averse to hurting people, Karin was honestly just _better_ at hurting people in controlled ways that wouldn't kill them. Juugo wasn't

Karin made a small "tch" noise and stood up, spinning around and grabbing the man, pulling him into another room. Her hand flew to the back of her neck, charging up a seal and forcing the light to leave her eyes. The seal had been placed by Orochimaru and left there, after he realized how many issues Karin had with hurting people, and decided that she needed a 'remove my morals' button for experiments and interrogations.

It made her terrifyingly efficient, and efficiently terrifying.

"Try not to listen."

Suigetsu leaned back in his seat, lacing his hands behind his head. "…It's kind of disturbing, but she's pretty hot when she's all heartless sadist mode, isn't she?"

Juugo stared at him a little strangely.

o.o.o.o.o

Sasuke was woken by the sound of muffled screams. He stood up, rubbing the back of his neck and working out the kinks from the night's sleep. He looked over at Suigetsu and Juugo. "What's going on?"

"Karin's in the middle of an interrogation." Suigetsu answered, following it up with a long, loud slurp on his drink.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, slightly intrigued. For all the time he had spent in her company during their recent travels, and for all of the stories he had heard, he had never actually seen Karin interrogate anyone. He picked at his food for a while, eating some, and then looked up at Suigetsu. "Would she mind if I interrupted?"

"Are you going to stop her?"

"Probably not." Sasuke thought it over. "I think I just want to watch and see what she's doing."

Suigetsu shrugged and pointed his chopsticks at the door. "Then she won't care. Might even show off a little."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and looked at the door, then stood up and slipped in through the door, quiet enough not to disturb the "proceedings," and took a seat against the wall. Suigetsu followed him in a few seconds later, and sprawled down next to him. Karin didn't seem to notice the disturbance.

Sasuke ignored Suigetsu and watched as Karin drew the answers out of her victim, the chakra scalpel in her hand carving into skin and scraping across bone, slivering through muscles and shaving off layers.

Sasuke tugged at his collar, slightly annoyed at the uncomfortably warm temperature of the room, when he was distracted by Suigetsu.

The water boy's eyes were dancing with mirth. "Guess we know what interests you now, huh?"

Sasuke blinked at him.

Suigetsu smirked and sent a _look_ down at Sasuke's legs.

Sasuke glanced down and, with a furious and mortified blush, hurriedly crossed his legs and draped the spare fabric of his outfit over the unfortunate reaction that his body was having to the torture going on in front of him. This wasn't supposed to happen. He was an avenger. He wasn't supposed to have _hormones_ like this!

Especially since it hadn't really happened before and he didn't really like not knowing anything about the situation and he didn't know which parts were natural and _how was he supposed to deal with this?_

"That's okay." Suigetsu grinned and clapped Sasuke on the shoulder. "Everyone has their own little kink. Didn't realize yours clicked so well with Karin, though. She'll be happy, I guess. Tell me, do you wish you were the one on that table?"

Sasuke punched him.

o.o.o.o.o

Sasuke relaxed in the onsen, glad that the water was hiding his body and removing the strange, carnal urges as his mind grew blank.

It was a mixed bath, unfortunately, so Karin was there with the boys as well, but it wasn't really that big of a deal. She'd already washed out the blood in the separate shower before hopping in.

"You know…" Suigetsu's voice cut through the peace and quiet. "I have complete control over water."

"We know, idiot." Karin growled, trying to nurse her headache.

"We're all in an onsen." Suigestu's grin turned teasing. "And water can get just about _anywhere_."

To drive the point home, he waggled his eyebrows and made an obscene hand gesture.

Sasuke and Karin were out in less than a second. Sasuke stared at him in suspicion and mild disgust, while Karin began screaming threats and obscenities at him.

"What? It's just like a really wet hand j—" His words were cut off as a bucket smashed through his head.

Juugo pinched the bridge of his nose.

o.o.o.o.o

Honestly, Juugo found the antics of the younger Taka members to be rather amusing. However, he found them even more annoying when days like this happened.

"Yes, I know. Humans are rather strange, aren't they?" Juugo muttered to the bird in his hand. "It's okay. They won't be like this forever."

The bird chirped inquisitively.

"Well, it's just hormones at their age. They'll grow out of it in a year or two."

Another chirp, still questioning.

"Well… Karin is trying to get Sasuke into her pants; Sasuke is trying to ignore what's in his pants; and Suigetsu's just trying to get into _both_ of their pants. Or he might just be messing with them."

His words were accented by the fact that Suigetsu was currently making large, phallic shapes out of water and then waving rope-like bands of water and making tentacle jokes.

"…I sincerely hope he is."

o.o.o.o.o

**A/N: This just happened because I'm a moron. Don't take it seriously.**

**Or rather, do take it seriously. Go on. Do it.**

**I'm sleep deprived. Don't judge me.**

**Ja ne,**

**Phoenix**


End file.
